misunderstoodme

Bakit nga ba dmisunderstoodme yung blog site ko? Yung mga ibang nagpa-follow, yun lagi unang tinatanong na lagi kong sinasagot nang... wala, basta feeling ko lagi akong misunderstood. Maraming factors eh. Una, hirap ako mag-explain. Siguro kasi i always overthink. Yung inuunahan ko na yung pwedeng mangyari kapag sinabi ko yung mga words na nasa mind ko. Another thing is because takot akong makasakit ng tao. Yun yung matagal na pilit kong inaaral na gawin. Yung matutong sabihin kung ano nararamdaman ko. Madali kasi ako ma-intimidate. Kapag ang isang tao medyo nagtaas na ng boses intimidated na agad ako. Ayoko na magsalita. Hindi ko na ma-explain yung side ko kaya akala nila tama nga kung ano yung iniisip nila.

Sabi nila ang taong pinakamalakas daw tumawa at pinakamadaling patawanin ay yung mga taong malungkot. Minsan iniisip ko kung malungkot nga ba ako. I must admit may emptiness. Di ko alam kung ano at kung saan nanggagaling. Basta, ganon eh.

Lately naman tina-try ko na i-voice out kung ano nararamdaman ko pero parang mali naman. Nakakasakit yata ako ng tao...

I have an outlet of letting go yung sadness at saka sama ng loob kapag feeling ko puno na. Ayun, heart to heart talk sa KANYA. At least SYA nakikinig lang. Sumbong-mode lang ang peg ko. Di naman kasi NYA ako pagagalitan. Tamang letting go of everything na nasa heart mo lang. Wala akong maririnig na opposition. Nakakagaan ng loob after. Tapos eto... sulat sulat lang. Best way nga daw yon kapag masama ang loob mo. Isulat mo lang. Pag-hit mo ng period, ok ka na rin. Magaan na pakiramdam, wala ka pang nasaktan.

Tonight...

It's been a little late but I had to get up and write something. My mind is full and I don't think I can have a good sleep without pouring this out. I know its not right to over-think but when you're in a situation when you're heart is taking the top spot over your mind, you need to have an outlet just to clear it. This situation is not new. In fact, it happened more than the fingers on my hand could count. Not just with me but to lots of girls out there.

Have anyone of you guys experienced this?

A nice girl got tired of believing in love. Got numb for a long time. Fall in-love and fall out of love the way guys play the game. Then suddenly someone came in. You let your guards down. Done everything to make things work. Felt like this time everything falls on their right places. Gave in to all his requests. Believes that this is it then all of a sudden... BOOM!

Should you go back to being numb? Pull up your guards again?