misunderstoodme

Bakit nga ba dmisunderstoodme yung blog site ko? Yung mga ibang nagpa-follow, yun lagi unang tinatanong na lagi kong sinasagot nang... wala, basta feeling ko lagi akong misunderstood. Maraming factors eh. Una, hirap ako mag-explain. Siguro kasi i always overthink. Yung inuunahan ko na yung pwedeng mangyari kapag sinabi ko yung mga words na nasa mind ko. Another thing is because takot akong makasakit ng tao. Yun yung matagal na pilit kong inaaral na gawin. Yung matutong sabihin kung ano nararamdaman ko. Madali kasi ako ma-intimidate. Kapag ang isang tao medyo nagtaas na ng boses intimidated na agad ako. Ayoko na magsalita. Hindi ko na ma-explain yung side ko kaya akala nila tama nga kung ano yung iniisip nila.

Sabi nila ang taong pinakamalakas daw tumawa at pinakamadaling patawanin ay yung mga taong malungkot. Minsan iniisip ko kung malungkot nga ba ako. I must admit may emptiness. Di ko alam kung ano at kung saan nanggagaling. Basta, ganon eh.

Lately naman tina-try ko na i-voice out kung ano nararamdaman ko pero parang mali naman. Nakakasakit yata ako ng tao...

I have an outlet of letting go yung sadness at saka sama ng loob kapag feeling ko puno na. Ayun, heart to heart talk sa KANYA. At least SYA nakikinig lang. Sumbong-mode lang ang peg ko. Di naman kasi NYA ako pagagalitan. Tamang letting go of everything na nasa heart mo lang. Wala akong maririnig na opposition. Nakakagaan ng loob after. Tapos eto... sulat sulat lang. Best way nga daw yon kapag masama ang loob mo. Isulat mo lang. Pag-hit mo ng period, ok ka na rin. Magaan na pakiramdam, wala ka pang nasaktan.

Tonight...

It's been a little late but I had to get up and write something. My mind is full and I don't think I can have a good sleep without pouring this out. I know its not right to over-think but when you're in a situation when you're heart is taking the top spot over your mind, you need to have an outlet just to clear it. This situation is not new. In fact, it happened more than the fingers on my hand could count. Not just with me but to lots of girls out there.

Have anyone of you guys experienced this?

A nice girl got tired of believing in love. Got numb for a long time. Fall in-love and fall out of love the way guys play the game. Then suddenly someone came in. You let your guards down. Done everything to make things work. Felt like this time everything falls on their right places. Gave in to all his requests. Believes that this is it then all of a sudden... BOOM!

Should you go back to being numb? Pull up your guards again?

Bella

August 2, 2012

Bella's browsing her Facebook account when she saw this:

Your Relationship Status Analysis
Hello Bella
Present Status: Single
Prediction by Analysis:
Don't worry you will find someone
special on *December 8, 2013, 9:26pm*
whose name starts with *R*

Ohh well, who could that be, then she shrug her shoulders. Hmmm, another *R* in my life. What could be his name this time. Then a name pops up in her mind... Ralph? Hahahah, it's her new boss' name. She holds her breathe and flash a naughty grin. Who knows? o_0 LOL Nothing's wrong with that... she's single and her boss is single. Uhmmm...

Bella was just hired a week ago. Ralph, her boss, is such a cool, nice person. She never had any difficulty dealing with him. He's not a strict boss to start with.

It's such a great thing working in the company and time passed by. Bella just enjoyed working a forgot about that facebook apps. Her working relationship with her boss just continue being a boss-ea relationship. Taking minutes of meetings, coordinating with different departments, writing procedures, organizing his boss' documents and schedules, travels, etc.

December 8, 2013, 8pm

Bella was called by her boss. "Bella, we need to talk". "About what Sir?" "I'm sorry but I need to terminate your service". "On what ground, Sir?" Bella was teary-eyed. "Cost-cutting, he replied."

Bella packed her things. She's putting her things in a box. She reached for the calendar beside her computer monitor. She saw the date. It was encircled and 9:26pm was written beside it. She remembered the facebook apps. It's 8:45 and she felt so down losing her job on the date that the apps said she'll be finding her special someone. *R*... no it's not Ralph. Couldn't be!

"Are you done packing your things?" She didn't notice her boss is already at her back. "Y-yes." "It's 9pm, go to Anna's desk before you leave, she'll give you your last paycheck, then comeback here, i'll give you something." She heads to Anna's desk. Anna, the admin assistant was sort of pacifying her and talking with her about some stuffs. She looked at her watch... 9:20pm. "Come on Anna, let go of me, I need to go out of this building and see if its going to happen, she said it only in her mind." She got out of Anna's place at 9:25, geez she needs to hurry up but she needs to pick up her box from her boss' office. Ohhh bugger exactly 9:26pm she was picking up her box of stuffs from Ralph's office when she heard a voice... "Bella..." She faced him and she saw a bouquette of flowers in his hands. "Would you be my girlfriend?" "OMG, so it's you!" Ralph was puzzled. "Me?" "Yes, she replied." She opened her facebook account and showed something to Ralph:

Your Relationship Status Analysis

Hello Bella

Present Status: Single

Prediction by Analysis:

Don't worry you will find someone

special on *December 8, 2013, 9:26pm*

whose name starts with *R*

Ralph was stunned for a moment then he showed her laptop to Bella

Your Relationship Status Analysis
Hello Ralph
Present Status: Single
Prediction by Analysis:
Find courage to tell the girl you love about your feelings
 on *December 8, 2013, 9:26pm*
whose name starts with *B*
or she'll be a dream forever.

Ralph hugged Bella tightly... "I love you Bella" =)

Note: This story was inspired by a result of my facebook apps but that doesn't mean this is how I want things to happen. Just another product of a healthy imagination of a writer :P

Belinda

"Do you know Belinda?" This has been the usual question one could hear from Luke when he's not sober. Luke is a 27-year old bachelor. Good-looking, with perfect height and body that everybody adores. He's a jolly, funny, and humorous guy when he's with his friends. He's the life of every party. Belinda is a sweet, simple girl with a beauty that everyone appreciate more after they get to know her better. Luke and Belinda are childhood friends. They basically grew up together. They went to the same school, belongs to the same circle of friends, their parents are the best of friends, etc. During their elementary days, they were inseparable, but as they approach adolescence, Luke started to put space between him and Belinda. Luke got different sets of friends. He only goes to Belinda for help on his assignments, projects and other stuffs that his friend could not do for him. Most of the times, he'll just give them to Belinda and ask her to do it for him. She was the last he would think of in everything aside from those that were mentioned. Unlike when they were young when Belinda was always on the top of his lists. When there's no other friends available, that's the time he will call Belinda because he knows she is always an available savior. Luke knows that Belinda loves him and he's too comfortable with the thought that she will never leave him no matter what. Day's gone by so fast. They finished college and got their jobs. They just say "hi's" and "hello's" through SMS. Belinda was very consistent on asking how he was. Luke, on the other hand, being so used to the messages, upon seeing that the message came from Belinda, just ignore them. Life continues that way. One day, Luke was so sad and feeling alone. Belinda crossed his mind then he realized he never received any message from her for quite sometime. He reached for his phone and found out it was more than a week since he last received one from her. He checked back some of the messages. They're quite the same everyday... "Hi", "How are you?", "Have a great day". Then he noticed one message that he was not able to open. It goes like: If one day you feel like crying... Call me. I don't promise that i will make you laugh, but I can cry with you. If one day you want to run away - - Don't be afraid to call me. I don't promise to ask you to stop... But I can run with you. If one day you don't want to listen to anyone... Call me. I promise to be there for you. And I can promise to be very quiet. But if one day you call... And there's no answer... Come fast to me. Perhaps I need you. Suddenly, Luke fell on a very deep emotional realization. He's missing Belinda. Suddenly, he was able to appreciate everything that she have done to him. He remembered one time, when they were still in college, Belinda broke up with her guy. Luke heard about it but its like he heard something that is very easy for Belinda to endure. That same day, the girl he's pursuing gave him a big "NO". He was so down that time, he called Belinda and asked her to come over because he's so sad. That time, Belinda's also grieving for the failed relationship but upon receiving that message from her friend, without any hesitation, she went to his place. She talked to him, made him feel that someone's there for him, absorbed all negativities and gave the best that she could to make him feel good. She never left him until she's sure that he's OK, and still check on him from time to time. He was terrified! It's only now that he realized how selfless Belinda was. He kept on browsing his phone. He saw 2 missed calls from Belinda. Those were 3 days ago. He dialed her number... no answer. Did it several times... no answer. He went to her house and it was the maid who greeted him. "Where's Belinda?", he asked. Instead of answering him, the maid handed him a letter. He went back home, sat on the couch and just stare at the red envelop. He remembered that that's Belinda's favorite color. Slowly he opened it and read the letter.

Hi Luke,

How are you today? I was trying to call you but to no avail. I just got my lab test result and the doctor confirmed I have blood cancer. That explains the bruises? Remember those big bruises? Well, I still feels good. I don't feel any pain or whatever so don't worry. I just want you to know about this because i might not be available anytime you needs me. i want to say sorry in advance. I'm bigger than this, right? Hahaha. I care for you a lot and I don't want to see you sad, not even a single day, even if that means sacrificing what I really want. That's how I love you!

Belinda

Tears fall on Luke's cheeks. Here's a girl who's been there for him all her life and now she in a serious stage but still asking for his forgiveness if she can't come to him if he needs her again. How could he be so damn fool. A selfish guy who only cares about what he needs and what he can get. He cannot even remember Belinda asked him something in return for all the favors he asked from her. Not even any complaint. He was thinking deeply when he heard noises coming from Belinda's place. Her Mom and Dad are crying and he saw a gold casket uploaded from a limousine. It was the hell of a moment. He felt like he's on a big twirl. He could not move.

And she's gone forever. It's over. How he wish that it was just a big misunderstanding. How he wish that any moment she'll walk through the door and ask why everybody is crying. How he wish she's come back, but she's not, ever. But he knows right now she's looking down there wishing that nothing had happened and hoping that he could get on with his life. She probably wishes she never had leukemia. Because she doesn't want to see people cry and be sad. She must have been teaching him a lesson on how short life is and he needs to live it before its gone. Learn to cherish the people who love and care because its hard to forgive yourself when its too late. When goodbyes came before you can say... I LOVE YOU.

Luke is grieving and its so painful to him that the only thing he can do now is to ask, "Do you know Belinda?", then talk about how good a girl she was.

Disclaimer: This story just a product of my productive imagination =)

It's been while...

It's been a while since I last visited this. Will try to be active again.

From Hongkong To Shenzhen (China)

This must have been the most daring travel I've made.

By the way, I forgot to mentioned on my previous post that when you arrive in Hongkong, you may opt to buy an Octopus Card which is usable in MTR, Light Trail, Trams, Peak Trams, Star Ferry, Buses, some minibuses, convenience stores such as 7-11, Circle K, supermarkets, fastfood outlets, or public telephone booths. Just wave it on the Octopus reader and payment will be deducted instantly (provided you have balance LOL). The reader also tells you how much your balance is so you can top up credit. You can top up credits at the public transportation company's Customer Service Centers, MTR station's Octopus add value machines or convenience stores like 7-11 and Circle K. You may return the card at any public transportation company's Customer Service Centers then you can get back the balance and the deposit. But since the Octopus card is valid 3 up to 3 years from the last top up date, I intend to keep mine. I might go back to Hongkong or if not, I have it as souvenir. I bought a HK$150 card with stored value of HK$100 and deposit of HK$50.

That's what I used on MTR.

When I arrived Hongkong, I secured my one-day Shenzhen visa at China Travel Services at Tsim Sha Tsui. Its a quasi state travel agent. Visa is cheaper at Chinese Ministry of Foreign Affairs but CTS offers full service and help you with the step by step procedures. I paid HK$180 for a one-day pass visa. Got it after 2days.

Here's the copy of the MTR map:

I stayed at Tsim Sha Tsui so I have 2 options. The fastest way is taking East Tsim Sha Tsui station [West Rail Line (purple)] then get myself to Hung Hom station [East Rail Line  (light blue)] then stay all the way to Hung Hom. But the adventurous blood in me was seeking for more heights so I took another route. From Tsim Sha Tsui (entrance D), I go all the way to Mongkok Station then transfer to [Kwun Tong Line (green)]. You can also go another more station, Prince Edward then transfer to green line. From either Mong Kok of Prince Edward, take the train then get off at Kowloon Tong and follow the signs to the Kowloon Canton Railways ([KCR (blue line)]. More walk on transferring from MTR to KCR this time. From Kowloon Tong, there are 2 different destinations going to mainland China, one is going to Lok Ma Chau and another going to Lo Wu. Take the one going to Lo Wu.

Lo Wu is a boarder crossing and you have to pass by the Custom and Immigration. Be sure to bring your passport. Have yourself cleared first from Hongkong by filling out Hongkong immigration departure card.

Now you're one step away from your bargain hunt. Look for the yelow sign hanging from the ceiling where you need to present your passport and visa.You can also buy visa at the CTS office in the boarder which you can find before you pass by the police station or you can also go on the 2nd floor and the visa office is on your right. Fill out the application form which you can get from the corner. give it to the man behind the counter and pay HK$100. The tourist visa is only valid at the Shenzhen Economic Zone. If your want to go beyond Shenzhen boarder, you need to get another visa. It wont take too much time. About 5-10minutes and you'll have your visa.

You have your passport and stamped visa. Now follow the queue for Chinese Immigration. Be sure to fill out the Arrival Form while on queue. This is to save time :P. Hand it over the Immigration Officer and pass through. Welcome to People's Republic of China! Go down another escalator and out the door. Turn right and you'll see the big, modern shopping center, the Lo Wu Commercial Center. Go over the pedestrian bridge and inside. Be watchful of your belongings.

You can pay here in HK dollars. If you pay in HK dollars they will give your change in HK dollars. It's a one to one exchange rate. You may lose a bit but if you don't want to be bothered long, its okay.

Here's how you bargain. Ask for the price then offer one third of the sum, nothing more. The seller will smile and shake their head. Examine the product thoroughly. If you like it then add some more dollar. Usually, the seller will punch price in a calculator. It's lower than the original price but might be higher than your bid. This is the time to haggle. If you really want the item, pick the middle ground with finality. But that price must not be more than 50% of the original price. 1/3 to 1/2 of the price is just right. It's really fun to bargain in Shenzhen. You can really buy a lot of stuffs at the lowest cost possible.

Warning: Bear in mind that those branded items that you got on bargain are mostly, if not all, fake. So it's not a good idea to buy them in bulk. 1 or 2 is enough since custom is starting to get tough on piracy.

It's time for me to eat something. My tummy is starting to make sound. Its hard to choose which place to eat. Most are in Chinese characters and if you ask the server they don't understand English. I found Laurel Chinese Restaurant on the top floor. they have the best dimsum ever.

It's time to go back to Hongkong. Same procedure. Fill out China departure card. Have yourself cleared. Fill out Hongkong arrival form.

I took the same route back. When I reached Tsim Sha Tsui, I was a bit tired and again hungry so I stopped by a shop and bought water and sandwich. I stayed at the station. Finished my food. Wander a little more. When its my time to get out, my Octopus card is not working. Gosh! It rush time and lots of people around. I tried and tried on different exits and still not working. Wahhh another mis-adventure! I approached the Customer Service and told her that my Card still have about 86$ balance but it's not working. She took my card and scanned it then she asked why I stayed long in the station. Honestly, I dunno its not allowed. I told her i was so tired and hungry and I just stopped by. Maybe she reset my card then it worked.

That's it!!!

From Hongkong to Macau... continued

Sorry for the long wait...

There are places in Macau that should not be missed. What else but the casinos. I've posted some pics of Grand Emperor and Lisboa on my previous entry. Time for City of Dreams now.

City of Dreams is the newest addition to the numbers of casinos in the area. They offer free ride from Ruins of St. Paul. They even give free tickets to their featured shows. Even bottled water are free here :P

The 3d mermaid at the casino wall:

I have this video of the mermaid show. Hope this one works:

Here's another one:

The Dragon Show:

The famous Venetian where gold color is very prominent:

The famous "artificial sky" inside Venetian where the food court is. Its hard to believe that you're actually inside the building:

The Canal inside the building where you can have a Gondola ride. That bangkero is a Pinoy. How did I know? He called me "Kabayan", LOL:

From here, I rode a free bus ride going to the ferry boat to go back to Hongkong.

From Hongkong to Macau

I'm very thankful having the opportunity to travel a lot. T'is my first time in Hongkong and I have nothing with me but a map of the train :P and my laptop. Thanks to pinoyexchange.com, it helps me a lot in exploring places on my own.

Arriving @ Hongkong Airport, I was like a "kookoo". I dunno which exit to take. Taxi, train or bus? Geez, which way to go. Taxi is expensive. Train? Nahhh, I've seen different exits to Tsim Sha Tsui on my map. don't wanna explore yet, huh! Bus? Ok, bus N21A was given. Ok now, i'll take a bus!

An Inday from Manila went out of the airport. Now, left or right? Hmmpt! Ok, wherever majority of the people go. Wallah! right turn dear. Hahahah. Some few steps and I reach a big board where details of the buses where written. Uhm... there goes bus N21A. Hop in!

Some pics while I'm inside the bus:

Time to ask for directions now. I dunno where I am huhuhu. I ask the guy in front of me:

Me: Sir, how long will it take before we reach Tsim Sha Tsui?
Guy: @#*&&@ (grrr, he don't understand English)

Ohh no!

Yes! Someone sat beside me.

Me: Sir, how far is Tsim Sha Tsui?
Guy: From here, about 30mins more. When you see Citibank beside HSBC, that's the place.
Me: Will you call my attention if its time for me to get out of the bus?
Guy: Sure! You travelling alone?
Me: Yes. It's my first time here.
Guy: Brave girl, huh!
Me: Just adventurous.
Guy: (Pressed the buzzer) Ok, gotta get out.
Wahhh, he said he'll tell me if its my turn to get out. How?

Ok, look right, look left. There's Citibank, 1,2,3... uhhh HSBC. Buzzzzz. Door opens and off I go.
Where am I? Whew! Yau Ma Tei! Not yet my destination. Gotta hop on another bus huhuhu. Prayers, prayers, prayers! Is this TST? Yes! Buzzzz... Off I go. Now where's the hotel. Trust your instinct sweetie... I was able to pass by the exit D of  TST station. I'm on the right track baby!

Ohhh there's my hotel. Lalalala♫♪♫ hahah!

Ok now, I'm inside my hotel room, need to hurry unpacking because I wanna go to the ladies night market. Uh-ohh! Need to check my internet first. Got my map and look at which route to take. From Tsim Sha Tsui MTR Station (red line) you'll pass by Jordon then Yau Ma Tei. Transfer to green line then the next station will be Mongkok. that's were the ladies market is located. I just roam around, bought some good bargains then went back to hotel to rest. Need to get up early to catch the ferry going to Macau.

Sorry, i wasn't able to take pictures of the ladies' market.

I woke up early the next morning. Asked the housekeeping staff of the hotel where I can find the ferry port to Macau. He said its just across the street. Ok then, thanks for the direction, hahahah. So I crossed the street and head towards the crossroad. Again, left or right? I've asked the two girls for the direction. I felt good because they seemed very eager to help me. They told me to turn left then at the end of the road i'll see the ferry station.

Uhmm, I've been walking for like, 10mins and no ferry station so I asked the street sweeper for direction. The biggest mistake of my life! he said lots of things but all I understand was, "no english". Okay! Then I asked a cop and wallah, I'm on the wrong way, wahhhhh!

Can't do anything but to go back, ayt? Walk, walk, walk! I saw this girl giving free newspaper. I asked for a copy then take the opportunity to ask for direction. Walk, walk, walk! The girl said it's near the Esprit stall. There's the Esprit stall. I'll bear to mind that I'll dropby that stall when I got back in the afternoon. Okay so there I go. The ticket station is atop a mall.

Btw, the newspaper I got from the girl is still with me and I'm so stupid to get one coz I can't understand Chinese LOL. So I gave it to the girl at the ticket booth heheheh.

Time for me to go on-board.

These were taken at the ferry station:

Here I come Macau:

Grand Lisboa:

Grand Emperor Hotel:

Jackie Chan's gold bars inside Grand Emperor Hotel:

Lunch time. Nice foods from the building near Grand Emperor:

My fave white chicken and egg tofu. Yum!

Around Macau:

The famour Ruins of St. Paul:

Remains from the Ruins:

to be continued:

There must have been some problem with the site.